LYRICS

ALL OF A SUDDEN I’M REMEMBERING THE NIGHTS THAT I FORGOT

LYING ON YOUR ROOFTOP HIGH AS ALL FUCK

LAUGHING TILL OUR SIDES HURT

AND KISSING WITH CHAPPED LIPS

NOW ONE OF US IS GONE FOR GOOD

AND ME, I’M ON A THREAD

WHAT IF WE HAD SEEN IT THEN

HAD A GLIMPSE AT HOW IT ALL WOULD END

WOULD I HAVE TALKED ALL THAT SHIT

WOULD I HAVE DATED ALL THOSE FUCKING MEN

YEAH I KNOW YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN

AND FIRST LOVES THEY TEND TO GET BURNED

BUT DAMN I WISH I WASTED LESS TIME

THINKING THAT I WAS ALWAYS RIGHT

BABY I USED TO HAVE BIG DREAMS

I DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS BUT I KNEW WHERE I WAS HEADING

BABY WE USED TO HAVE BIG DREAMS

DIDN’T KNOW WHO WE WERE BUT WE KNEW WHERE WE WERE HEADING

ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERY HOUR THAT GOES BY FEELS LIKE A MONTH

TRY TO KEEP MY FEARS ON LOCK BUT THEY ALWAYS TIE ME UP

YOU DESERVED MUCH BETTER THAN NOTHING BUT MY WORST

AND NOW THAT YOU’RE GONE FOR GOOD I THINK I MIGHT BE CURSED

WHAT IF WE HAD SEEN IT THEN

HAD A GLIMPSE AT HOW IT ALL WOULD END

WOULD I HAVE TALKED ALL THAT SHIT

WOULD I HAVE DATED ALL THOSE FUCKING MEN

SURE I GUESS YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN

BUT WHY WAS IT YOU THAT I BURNED

DAMN I WISH I WASTED LESS TIME

THINKING THAT I WAS ALWAYS RIGHT

BABY I USED TO HAVE BIG DREAMS

I DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS BUT I KNEW WHERE I WAS HEADING

BABY WE USED TO HAVE BIG DREAMS

DIDN’T KNOW WHO WE WERE BUT WE KNEW WHERE WE WERE HEADING

I WANNA BE SOMEBODY ELSE

DON’T THINK THESE WOUNDS ARE GONNA HEAL THEMSELVES

I DUG IN DEEP I GAVE IT ALL

THOUGHT I FOUND WATER BUT IT WAS SALT

I WANNA BELIEVE THAT WE’LL BE

80 YEARS OLD ON THE PORCH SWING

TIME ONCE FELT CERTAIN

NOW ITS DISEASED

IT'S THE NOT KNOWING THAT’S GETTING TO ME

I WANNA BE SOMEBODY ELSE

FOR JUST A WHILE TO RESET

MAYBE THEN I COULD FORGET IT ALL

CERTAIN THINGS ARE BETTER TO NOT KNOW

I’LL TRY TO CHOOSE WHAT I BELIEVE

INSTEAD OF PICKING APART WHAT I NEED

BLIND FAITH COULD SURELY GET ME FAR

BUT I’M GRASPING FOR ANY FUCKING OUNCE OF CONTROL

I PLAY MY FEAR BACK ON REPEAT

TO FIND THE SPACES I DON’T NEED

DISCARDED NAMES I COULDN’T KEEP

I TRIED EM ON BUT I’M STILL ME

YEAH SURE I TRY TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES

PRETEND I CARE, STRIKE A MODELS A POSE

THEY SNIFF ME OUT, THATS HOW IT GOES

THAT’S HOW IT GOES THEY ALWAYS KNOW

I WANNA STAND BEFORE THE COALS

BRILLIANTLY HOT UNDER MY SOLES

IF PAIN COULD TEACH ME ABOUT LOSS

MAYBE IT COULD GET ME DOWN FROM THIS CROSS

I WANNA BELIEVE THINGS WORK OUT

I WANNA FEEL MY HOPE COMPOUND

TO ACCESS KINDNESS FOR MYSELF

THE KIND OF GRACE I’VE JUST TOSSED AROUND

I PLAY MY FEAR BACK ON REPEAT

TO FIND THE SPACES I DON’T NEED

DISCARDED NAMES I COULDN’T KEEP

I TRIED EM ON BUT I’M STILL ME

YEAH SURE I TRY TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES

PRETEND I CARE, STRIKE A MODELS A POSE

THEY SNIFF ME OUT, THAT'S HOW IT GOES

THAT’S HOW IT GOES THEY ALWAYS KNOW

I'VE BEEN THINKING TOO MUCH AGAIN

I’VE BEEN A DOG LAID WAIT AND WHINING

PAWS UP ON THE WINDOW PANE

I’VE BEEN THINKING TOO MUCH AGAIN

BUT I’M STILL STANDING

GUESS I SHOULD QUIT WHILE I’M AHEAD

I’M A CHILD CALLING HOME

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

AT MY FIRST SLEEP AWAY CAMP

I’M A DOCTOR WITH NO MORALS

YEAH I’LL GIVE A SHOT WHENEVER I CAN

CAUSE THREE STEPS FORWARD AND 2 TO THE RIGHT

AND A SHARP LEFT TURN IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT

I’VE BEEN HEARING THAT VOICE AGAIN

ITS PULLING ALL DIRECTIONS WILD

GOT LOST INSIDE THE MESS OF IT

ALL MY ATTEMPTS END UP IN VAIN

CAUSE WHEN I WAKE UP

I DON’T KNOW WHO I’M GONNA BE

I’M A CHILD CALLING HOME

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

AT MY FIRST SLEEP AWAY CAMP

I’M A DOCTOR WITH NO MORALS

YEAH I’LL GIVE A SHOT WHENEVER I CAN

CAUSE THREE STEPS FORWARD AND 2 TO THE RIGHT

AND A SHARP LEFT TURN IN THE DEAD OF THE NIGHT

I CANT HIDE

I CANT HIDE

NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY

I KEEP LOOKING FOR A WAY TO GET BY BUT NOTHING KEEPS ME MOVING LIKE THE WEIGHT OF JUST BEING ALIVE

BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL

DON’T LET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT

NOTHING KEEPS ME HOPING LIKE KNOWING THAT THIS IS JUST A DRIVEBY

OF ALL THE THINGS WE FIND WHEN WE’RE LOOKING, I HOPE YOU SEE SOMETHING IN ME

I KNOW IT’S TRUE WE’RE HERE THEN WE’RE NOTHING

BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE NOTHING

ITS OK IF YOU WANNA STAY

ITS OK IF YOU WANNA LEAVE

ITS OK CAUSE THEN I KNOW YOU’RE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANNA BE

I KEEP TO MYSELF THE PLACES I FIND WHEN DRIVING ON THE BACK STREETS PLAYING THE SONGS I CHOSE FOR YOU

HEARING YOU SAY THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH

OF ALL THE THINGS WE FIND WHEN WE’RE LOOKING, I HOPE YOU SEE SOMETHING IN ME

I KNOW IT’S TRUE WE’RE HERE THEN WE’RE NOTHING

BUT YOU’LL NEVER BE NOTHING

ITS OK IF YOU WANNA STAY

ITS OK IF YOU WANNA LEAVE

ITS OK CAUSE THEN I KNOW YOU’RE EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANNA BE

I’D LOVE TO FIND A PURPOSE

I’D LOVE TO FILL A NICHE

AND WHEN I FINALLY WRITE THIS SCRIPT YOU’RE GONNA LOVE THE OVERARCHING THEMES OF GRIEF

SWIMMIN’ IN THAT POOL AND RUNNING DOWN THAT STREET

WITH TOTAL DISREGARD FOR ANY CARS THAT COULD HIT ME

AND IN THE END I WILL HAVE LIVED AND I’LL HAVE LEARNED

I’LL HAVE GROWN SO GODDAMN MUCH

FROM ALL THE BRIDGES THAT I HAD BURNED

ROLL THE CREDITS FORGET COLLATERAL DAMAGE

CAUSE I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS

AND EVERYDAY I TAKE ADVANTAGE

I THINK I FOUND A PURPOSE

I FINALLY FILL A NICHE AND WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE THERE WON’T BE A SINGLE DRY EYE IN THOSE SEATS

SWIMMIN’ IN THAT POOL AND RUNNING DOWN THAT STREET

WITH TOTAL DISREGARD FOR ANY CARS THAT COULD HIT ME

AND IN THE END I WILL HAVE LIVED AND I’LL HAVE LEARNED

I’LL HAVE GROWN SO GODDAMN MUCH

FROM ALL THE BRIDGES THAT I HAD BURNED

ROLL THE CREDITS FORGET COLLATERAL DAMAGE

CAUSE I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS

AND EVERYDAY I TAKE ADVANTAGE

IT'S ME

I WAS MADE FOR THIS

WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD BUT I MAKE THE BEST OF IT

EVERYONE AROUND ME LIFE HAS BROUGHT EM TO THEIR KNEES

BUT THE MAIN CHARACTER CAN’T DIE

SO THANK GOD THAT’S ME

THERE’S SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT SUFFERING

THEY SAY YOU MIGHT BE DYING BUT YOU STILL GOTTA EAT

MAKE A SANDWICH AND GO TO SLEEP

THERE’S SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT SUFFERING

THERE’S SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT SUFFERING

THEY SAY YOU MIGHT BE DYING BUT YOU STILL GOTTA EAT

MAKE A SANDWICH AND GO TO SLEEP

THERE’S SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT SUFFERING

YOU BET YOUR ASS I’M GONNA KNOCK ON WOOD

EVERY CHANCE THAT I GET

CAUSE I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR BAD IN EVERYTHING THAT I CAN

TURN OFF THE NEWS

PAINT THROUGH MY BLUES

THE PUREST INTENTIONS

WERE GONE IN A SECOND

LIKE THE LAST SIP OF COFFEE

ALWAYS LEFT ME WANTING

THERE’S SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT SUFFERING

THEY SAY YOU MIGHT BE DYING BUT YOU STILL GOTTA EAT

MAKE A SANDWICH AND GO TO SLEEP

THERE’S SOMETHING KIND OF FUNNY ABOUT SUFFERING

TURN OFF THE NEWS

PAINT THROUGH MY BLUES

THE PUREST INTENTIONS

WERE GONE IN A SECOND

LIKE THE LAST SIP OF COFFEE

ALWAYS LEFT ME WANTING

BITTER AND THICK ON MY TONGUE

SPITTING IT OUT LIKE ITS BLOOD

SOMETIMES I THINK THAT

THEY THINK I’M CONTAGIOUS

LIKE THEY MIGHT CATCH MY SICKNESS

FROM A TEXT MESSAGE

CAUSE SADNESS IT SPREADS

BUT I DON’T NEED YOU TO TAKE IT

I CAN HANDLE MY PAIN

BUT JUST FOR YOU I WOULD FAKE IT TILL I DIE

CAUSE SADNESS IT SPREADS

AND THAT SHITS WILD

I’LL SERVE AS YOUR REMINDER

I’LL COMMEMORATE YOUR HEALTH

YOU CAN VISIT ME IN PASSING TO REMEMBER YOU’RE DOING WELL

I’LL BE THAT ONE RECORD

THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU CRY

CAUSE IT’S KINDA FUN TO FEEL SAD

WHEN YOUR LIFE IS GOING RIGHT

PUT ME ON

TURN ME UP

SOMETIMES I THINK THAT

THEY THINK I’M COURAGEOUS

BUT I’M BEGGING FOR SPACE TO BE SOFT TO BE PATIENT

YEAH SOMETIMES I THINK THAT

I NEED A VACATION

I’LL SERVE AS YOUR REMINDER

I’LL COMMEMORATE YOUR HEALTH

YOU CAN VISIT ME IN PASSING TO REMEMBER YOU’RE DOING WELL

I’LL BE THAT ONE RECORD

THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU CRY

CAUSE IT’S KINDA FUN TO FEEL SAD

WHEN YOUR LIFE IS GOING RIGHT

PUT ME ON

TURN ME UP

IF I COULD I’D ELIMINATE THE WORLD INSIDE MY HEAD

BUILD IT BACK

BRIGHT AND CUTE

AND AS HOPEFUL AS IT GETS

CHERRY PICK MY BRAIN UNTIL IT’S JUST THE STEMS AND SWEETEST FRUIT

I’D PULL MY PRINTED LOUNGE CHAIR

RIGHT UP NEXT TO YOURS

LIVE INSIDE THE THRILL OF LOVE WITHOUT EVER GETTING BORED

I’D SOAK UP EVERY MOMENT WITHOUT THINKING, “WHENS THIS GONNA END?”

AND I WONDER

IS THIS WHAT OPTIMISM FEELS LIKE?

HOPING YOU’LL SEE A CHANGE IN ME

WANTING TO DO THE RIGHT THING

I THINK THAT’S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING

IT’S GOTTA MEAN

IT'S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING

I WANT THE TIME TO LIVE

TO TRY

TO FAIL

FORGET ALL THE DUMB SHIT I EVER SAID

AND I THINK IT'S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING

IF I COULD I’D ARTICULATE THIS ALL IN BETTER WAYS

GIVE MYSELF THE GRACE I HANDED OUT SO FREELY EVERY DAY

TENUOUS LINKS

INSIPID STARES

FROM THOSE WHO STOLE AND NEVER GAVE

EGO TRASH

FROM MUDDLED MINDS

ACTING LIKE SOME KIND OF GODS

NOW I BOW TO NO ONE ONLY ME, MYSELF AND I

CALLED EM OUT

NEVER HIDE

THE SWEETEST FRUIT I EVER FOUND WAS MINE

I’D PULL MY PRINTED LOUNGE CHAIR

RIGHT UP NEXT TO YOURS

LIVE INSIDE THE THRILL OF LOVE WITHOUT EVER GETTING BORED

I’D SOAK UP EVERY MOMENT WITHOUT THINKING, “WHENS THIS GONNA END?”

IT’S GOTTA MEAN

IT'S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING

I WANT THE TIME TO LIVE

TO TRY

TO FAIL

FORGET ALL THE DUMB SHIT I EVER SAID

AND I THINK IT’S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING

MADE WAY FOR THE KIDS WE WERE

WE WERE SO FREE THAT IT ALMOST HURT

NOT SURE THAT I’D TAKE IT BACK

BUT I SURE AS HELL WOULDN’T OF SAID ALL THAT

WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

LIVIN FOR THE CUT AND RUN

PLAYING LIKE IT WAS ALL JUST PRETEND

LIKE IT WAS ALL SOME SORT OF GAME TO BE LOST OR WON

BUT IT WASN’T ENOUGH NO

I SLEPT ON A BED OF NAILS

LAID BESIDE YOUR FLOWERS AND YOUR DARK BROWN HAIR

I’D TRADE EVERY HIGH I HAD

TO BE ON THAT ROOFTOP WITH YOU AGAIN

WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

LIVIN FOR THE CUT AND RUN

PLAYING LIKE IT WAS ALL JUST PRETEND

LIKE IT WAS ALL SOME SORT OF GAME TO BE LOST OR WON

BUT IT WASN’T ENOUGH NO

ARE YOU BUILDING INVESTMENTS

A PREMATURE FUTURE ASSESSMENT

CAN’T SPEND MY TIME IN THE PRESENT

HARD WORK IS A LESSON

REST IS PURCHASED BY THE HOUR

I WANNA KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

TO DISAPPEAR INTO SUNSHINE

LET MYSELF BREATHE IN THE FREE TIME

WITHOUT FEELING I’VE GOT SOMEWHERE ELSE TO BE

MAYBE I'LL TRY SMOKING WEED AGAIN

TOO UPTIGHT FOR THAT NOW

BUT I WOULDN’T BE THEN

A WIDE BRIMMED HAT IN THE GARDEN

WHEN I RETIRE MAYBE I’LL TRY SMOKING WEED AGAIN

BETTER STOCK UP ON HEXES

AND A SMILING FACE TO SERVE THEIR DEFLECTIONS

THERE’S NOTHING QUITE LIKE CONNECTION

BORN IN A PROJECTION THAT I JUST USED TO WASTE MORE TIME

I WANNA KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

TO DISAPPEAR INTO SUNSHINE

LET MYSELF BREATHE IN THE FREE TIME

WITHOUT FEELING I’VE GOT SOMEWHERE ELSE TO BE

MAYBE I'LL TRY SMOKING WEED AGAIN

TOO UPTIGHT FOR THAT NOW

BUT I WOULDN’T BE THEN

A WIDE BRIMMED HAT IN THE GARDEN

WHEN I RETIRE MAYBE I’LL TRY SMOKING WEED AGAIN

WHY WAIT FOR RETIREMENT TO JUST GET FUCKING HIGH? MEDITATE ALL DAY AND THEN RUN FOR 20 MILES

I CAN’T WAIT TO BE THAT CHILL

IT’LL HAPPEN JUST YOU WAIT

WHEN I’M CALM ENOUGH TO SMOKE WEED

I’LL GET HIGHER EVERY DAY

MAYBE I'LL TRY SMOKING WEED AGAIN

TOO UPTIGHT FOR THAT NOW

BUT I WOULDN’T BE THEN

A WIDE BRIMMED HAT IN THE GARDEN

WHEN I RETIRE MAYBE I’LL TRY SMOKING WEED AGAIN

SOMETHING IN MY GUT SAID YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN

SOMETHING IN MY HEAD SEEMS ADDICTED TO THE RUSH

WHAT IF I’M NOTHING IF I’VE GOT NOTHING TO FEAR?

WHAT ELSE WILL I THINK ABOUT WHILE I GO TO SLEEP?

THE SEASONS ALWAYS CHANGE

THE RAPTURE NEVER CAME

THE BATED BREATHS I HELD

IF HE COMES THEN I DON’T CARE

I’VE ALREADY BEEN TO HELL

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WAITED FOR THE END

20 YEARS AND COUNTING

WAITING TO BE LEFT BEHIND

LOST A LOT OF LIFE PUTTING OUT LITTLE FIRES

THAT WERE ONLY IN MY MIND

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WAITED FOR THE END

20 YEARS AND COUNTING

WAITING TO BE LEFT BEHIND

LOST A LOT OF LIFE PUTTING OUT LITTLE FIRES

THAT WERE ONLY IN MY MIND

NOTHING EVER TOUCHED THE HOLLOW IN THE CUT

THE PEACE THAT I GAVE UP ALL THE TIME THAT I WAS STUCK

AN UNDILUTED BUZZ THAT LEFT A RINGING IN MY EAR

COULD TAKE ME OUT THAT ROOM BUT COULDN’T TAKE AWAY MY FEAR

THE SEASONS ALWAYS CHANGE

THE RAPTURE NEVER CAME

THE BATED BREATHS I HELD

IF HE COMES THEN I DON’T CARE

I’VE ALREADY BEEN TO HELL

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WAITED FOR THE END

20 YEARS AND COUNTING

WAITING TO BE LEFT BEHIND

LOST A LOT OF LIFE PUTTING OUT LITTLE FIRES

THAT WERE ONLY IN MY MIND

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WAITED FOR THE END

20 YEARS AND COUNTING

WAITING TO BE LEFT BEHIND

LOST A LOT OF LIFE PUTTING OUT LITTLE FIRES

THAT WERE ONLY IN MY MIND

I’M CHASING A NEED

I KEEP TRYING TO TELL YOU

BUT I GUESS IT'S MORE OF A BELIEF

I’M DRUNK ON A DREAM

I’M TAKING IT ALL IN

I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU WITH HER

BUT I JUST KEEP ON THINKING

IT’S BETTER THAN TO NOT SEE YOU AGAIN

I HELD IT IN MY HAND

DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS DEFECTIVE

COULDN’T UNDERSTAND

WHY I KEPT GETTING REJECTED

I WATCHED YOU LEAVE AND I WATCHED YOU RUN

CAME BACK A FEW TIMES BUT NEVER STAYED TOO LONG

I WATCHED YOU LEAVE AND I WATCHED YOU RUN

YOU COULDN’T TAKE ME WITH YOU BUT AT LEAST YOU TOOK THE GUN

HEY

THIS USED TO BE FUN

I GUESS NOBODY'S WINNING WHEN WE BOTH TRY TO RUN

HEY

THIS USED TO BE FUN

I GUESS NOBODY'S WINNING WHEN WE BOTH TRY TO RUN

I’M TAKING MY WINS

I’M BREAKING THEM IN

I KNOW THE FASTER I RUN

THE SOONER I GET TO THE END

I KNOW YOU SEE THROUGH THIS SKIN

WEAR IT TIGHT HIGH FASHION SIN

I KNOW THE FASTER I RUN THE SOONER I GET

THE SOONER I GET TO END

I KNOW ITS BEEN A GOOD ONE

I KNOW WE’VE SAID ALL THERE WAS TO SAY

I KNOW THAT WHEN YOU COME UP

YOU’LL SAY IT WAS FUN

YOU’LL SAY

YOU’LL SAY IT WAS FUN